So I FINAWWY unweashed da beast yesserday. Da beast yoo ask? Da beast wuz abowt two dayz wurf ob poopz! Momma wuz gunna take me to da vet unwess I pooped so maded shur dat she seend me go potty. She wuz afwaid dat maybe der wuz a bite ob Jumbone stucked in mai tummy pweventing me fwom pooping & she wuz getting wurreed.
Enter da vomit bomb…jus wen Momma wuz stawting to fink I had gotted better I taked thwee stepz into da woom and………DETONATED DA VOMIT BOMB! Affer a cupple *gyerk, gyerk, gyerk* owt it camed. Onta da cawpet cwashed da biggest pile ob bawf I haz eber pwodoosed in mai lyfe. Oh, and it STEENKED too! Momma inspekted it az I imagine all Mommaz do & she dint see anyfing owt ob da ordinawy so she cweaned it up & wiped mai barfy lipz.
Now I’z back unner 24 hour survaylentz…no chance ob getting awayyz wif stealing any tweatz or eating any stuffy cottonz. It’z LOCKDOWN fur Paloma…AGAIN. *stomps paw!*